Choo Choo

CJ got a train table for Christmas from his Nana & Papa and he LOVES it! The tracks and trains it came with are compatible with my old Brio train set that my sister and I had as kids. (So I don't know who honestly has more fun with the trains sometimes...CJ or me-having a valid excuse to play with my old toys!) CJ has gotten so good at putting the trains together (they are magnetic) and is getting pretty good at building tracks too. When he needs help he says: "Mama Hellp Ooo?" (Mama, help you?)

JT and I cannot STAND the Disney show Chuggington (sorry!) so we recently tried exposing CJ to Thomas instead. Thankfully for our sanity it was a HIT. So now CJ asks to watch "Thomas" instead of "Wilson." Although I really have to laugh to myself when CJ sings along and says "Thomas is da Cheeky Unn". HA HA.

CJ's Birth Story Part 2

This is a continuation of CJ's Birth Story Part 1 from yesterday. (Same thing I said applies, if you don't want to read about child birth...stop reading!)

We both got up the morning that was to be CJ's birth day, January 10, 2010 at around 9:30am. The Cervidil was removed and I was about the same: 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I took a shower, and was allowed to eat a big breakfast: oatmeal, eggs, blueberry muffin, fruit and apple juice. Thankfully I was allowed to have apple juice and orange juice throughout the entire labor process, which was nicer than the "ice chips" that you always hear about.

I knew going into it that induction was already NOT on the birth plan, but I was bound and determined to still try to do things as naturally as possible. I told the nurses NOT to ask me if I wanted an epidural, and that I would let them know. The Pitocin was started at 12 noon. It was started at a low dose and gradually increased every 30 minutes. We watched a few movies (flipping around the TV): Eight Below, Ratatouille, and We Were Soldiers.

At around 3pm I started feeling the contractions, and having pain. We did laps around the labor floor (it is a circular layout) and used the birthing ball. JT was a SUPER support person and massaged my back, and helped me any way he could. The labor started getting REALLY painful, especially in my back. The nurses thought that the back of baby's head was pushing against my back during the contractions making so painful (back labor).

Around 4:30pm the contractions started getting REALLY intense. I remember sitting on the birthing ball in the dark, with JT putting pressure on my back, listening to my "Labor" playlist on the iHome and I just couldn't take it.

At 6:30pm I requested the epidural. At first I felt like a "failure" because I couldn't handle the pain, and almost everything on our birth plan wasn't going according to plan...But at 7pm when the epidural arrived and I wasn't in as much pain, I felt VERY relieved. They checked me before placing the epidural and I was at 6cm.

I was able to rest and possibly even nap? (can't remember) for a little bit. I think the epidural helped my body to "relax" tremendously because when they checked me again at 8:50pm I was fully dilated and at +2 station. This is where things really started going downhill...

We were just about to send another update email to our families that "everything was good and we were going to start pushing soon" when CJ's heart rate started dropping. They had me lay on my left side to try to help him. His heart rate still wasn't what they wanted to see. SO scary. They placed a sensor on his head to get a more accurate heart rate.

Thankfully things calmed down a bit. After laying on my left and monitoring him internally they were happy with his heart rate and probably around 10:30pm said we could start pushing. By now, some of the numbness of the epidural had worn off so I was able to "help" with the pushing because I could feel the "urge" and when I was having a contraction. The nurse had me do a few "practice pushes", but I think I did pretty well because she told me not to push any more and that we needed to wait for the doctor.

**This is where things get hazy, and surreal (JT stopped taking his notes about the labor and things got crazy) so I retell it to the best of our recollections. **

When the doctor arrived (a VERY cute male Resident, not pertinent to the story, but a memory nonetheless) we started pushing again. A few good rounds and we were getting close. I guess CJ was getting stuck because they told me they needed to do an episiotomy. (Thank God for my epidural #1) So they did that, and I did another round of pushing. But then CJ's heart rate dropped again. They told me that I needed to get him out on this next push or else they were going to have to use the vacuum. So I pushed as hard as I possibly could, and CJ was born at 11:17pm. He was placed on my chest immediately (one thing that actually DID happen from my birth plan) and he was so beautiful.

I could tell there was something going on "down there", especially when the Attending Dr. was called in, but I was too busy admiring my new son to pay too much attention. When they took him to the bassinet on the other side of the room to clean him up, weigh him, etc. rather than letting him stay with me for the hour I had wanted/trying to nurse, I knew something was up. CJ weighed 9lb, 5oz and was 22.5 inches long. (Thank God for my epidural #2).

They said that when CJ was came out, I tore A LOT on top of the episiotomy. (Thank God for my epidural #3). They needed to get the bleeding to stop, and couldn't get me sewn back up in the delivery room because they were having a hard time seeing how far "up" (inside) the tear went. I needed to be taken to the Operating Room.

Scariest moment of my life. Probably JT's too? but I can't speak for him. Here, my dreams of becoming a Mama FINALLY just came true, and instead of being able to enjoy it, and enjoy this beautiful blessing, I am thinking I am going to die. While they were getting me situated to be wheeled away, I made JT take a few pictures of CJ. I asked him to take one of CJ with me "just in case" but he just couldn't do it. I imagine he didn't want to make the moment any more real? The look of fear on his face is one I'll never forget. I remember them taking me away...JT standing there in shock holding his newborn son and wondering about about the fate of his wife...

They took me to the OR, and I can't say enough good things about my doctors that night/early morning, that I credit with saving my life. The attending OB from my delivery room was came with me and was absolutely wonderful. She explained that she couldn't tell how far up I ripped (because of all the bleeding), but if I ripped too high they were going to need to cut me open similarly to a C-section to repair it from inside. I remember asking her "Am I going to die?" and her confidence and comforting manner as she said "No" was amazing. She was joined by another surgeon in the OR, and the two of them worked together surveying my "situation" and sewing me back up. They were longtime friends so to see how comfortable they were to work together also put me at ease. I had an anesthesiologist who sat right next to me and talked to me the whole time. She had the most LOVELY British accent, and again, made my experience more "pleasant" by her kindness. Thank God for my epidural #4 because otherwise they would have had to put me completely under. Here I was all by myself in the hospital OR, bleeding and each of those women made me feel "calm".

I ended up with a third degree cervical tear. I, thankfully, did not need a blood transfusion, but it was really close. When I returned to my room around 3am, CJ was sleeping in his bassinet and JT has never looked so relieved. I was disappointed because JT told me that CJ was "rooting" (looking to nurse) shortly after I left, and I hated that I missed that chance and those first few hours of his life! :(

Around 3-3:30am JT was FINALLY able call our friends and family and fill them in. (He wanted to wait until he could tell them Lacy & baby are both doing well, rather than waking them up in the middle of the night and worrying people that live far away while I was in the OR). I was FINALLY able to eat something while he was doing that. They wanted me to eat as much as I could since I lost so much blood.

By the time we both fell asleep from exhaustion it was probably around 4:30 or 5am. I remember my "alarm" kept going off because my pulse would dip so low and a nurse would have to keep coming in to check on me and to shut it off. I was LIVID when at 6am a nurse WOKE ME UP to ask me what kind of birth control I wanted. I was like are you KIDDING ME?! I had to do infertility treatment to even have CJ, and THAT is the LAST thing on my mind right now after last night. Grrr.

Anyhow. Thanks for reading (those of you that made it through!). It was cathartic for me to write. Now just praying that we have a different experience with the birth of Baby Girl! I doubt I'll have much of a birth "plan" this go around...or at least realize that probably nothing will go according to "plan"...but I do PLAN on getting an epidural! ;)

CJ's Birth Story Part 1

This is going to be a long post (and there may be some TMI moments-hello it is child birth!), so bear with me (or hit the x at the top of your screen). But this is something I feel like I have to write down to help me deal with my CJ's birth story before heading back in to Labor & Delivery with Baby Girl. I've shared bits and pieces with various friends, and have even gotten comfortable rattling off the "facts" with people (just like infertility) but have rarely, if ever, really talked about the emotional aspect of what I went through that night.

I woke up this morning with another headache. One of my theories behind my headaches this pregnancy (other than them being hormonally related?) is that I was so sick in the first trimester that I stopped wearing my night guard mouthpiece. (Sexy, but when you're married to a dentist, maybe it is? HA HA!) Anyhow, I grind my teeth in my sleep when I'm stressed (hence the night guard because I once ground so hard I broke a filling in my sleep). In addition to my headache, this morning I also woke up with a scripture running through my mind:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

I thought that was a sign, so after reading my Bible and saying a prayer, I got my computer out and started writing.

I've always struggled with worry my whole life. When I was even a little girl I would tell my mom I had my "worried feeling". It would come around sometimes for no reason, and other times when there was something "worth worrying about". I think it is Satan trying to get to me.

When I was going through infertility, one of my best friends gave me a little plaque with that scripture on it, and it was so fitting! I sat it on my desk at work and would recite it over and over. Presenting our infertility "with thanksgiving" was difficult then, but in hindsight I am so completely thankful that CJ was the baby God chose for us in His perfect timing.

And now, as I start to think about delivering Baby Girl, and all my worries surrounding that...hoping it won't be the same as last time. I present my anxiety to God with the thanksgiving that we were given this opportunity to go to Labor & Delivery again, that we were given this miracle baby girl.

At my ultrasound last week when they told me baby was 61%, my first thought was SO thankful that she is growing so well despite all the "risks" we were up against with my low PAPP-A. My next thought was fear. Oh gosh, she is going to be BIG just like her big brother. (CJ was 9lb, 5oz). My mind started racing and worrying, thinking we could be headed down the same path in the delivery room. When I met with my OB, he was very reassuring that if she stayed on that same bell curve for growth, she will be a "normal" sized baby, and went onto tell me that CJ was more like 95%. Phew... Praying for her to keep growing well, but just not quite as well as her brother! ;)

CJ was due on Saturday, January 2, 2010. Since we had to do infertility treatments with him and I know the exact day he was conceived, this was an accurate due date. His personality that we see today of doing what he wants WHEN HE wants, was true from the very beginning because he did NOT want to come out! I can't say I blame him...I've never been a fan of cold or snow, so I'm sure staying nestled up in my warm belly was much more appealing than being born into a Michigan winter. ;)

On Thursday, January 7, 2010 at my weekly Dr's appointment I was 75% effaced, and 1cm dilated. I had already lost my mucus plug at that point (gross!). The Dr. said my cervix was "softening up nicely" so I would be a good candidate for induction if baby boy didn't come on his own. She scheduled me for induction for Saturday, January 9, 2010 (41 weeks pregnant). (Of course depending on how busy L&D was). We were able to start booking plane tickets for my mom, my sister & my best friends to fly up from the Carolinas since we finally had a "date."

JT and I went out to dinner that Friday night at our favorite Ann Arbor restaurant, Pacific Rim, knowing it would be our last chance to go out on a date for a while. On Saturday, we did every last minute preparation we could think of, called all our family and friends and anxiously awaited the call from the nurses at the hospital that it was "okay to come in." When we got the "go ahead" we headed to the hospital around 7pm. We checked into University of Michigan Hospital Triage at approximately 7:15pm on January 9, 2010. We had taken Lamaze class, and had written a very detailed "birth plan" of how we wanted things. I requested and felt lucky that I there was a room with a tub available for us (most rooms have a shower only). It was kind of weird checking in, so surreal, so similar to checking into a hotel...all of our bags, no emergency, but knowing when we left it would be with our baby boy.

Cervidil was placed vaginally around 9:30pm. (It's basically like a tampon soaked in medicine). We walked around a the labor floor a little bit, but mostly chilled in the room. Jay fell asleep around 12:30am on his chair that folded out to a bed. I couldn't sleep! I was too excited/scared/anxious, so around 2:30am the nurse asked me if I'd like an Ambien to help me sleep and I said "yes!"

Check back tomorrow for the rest of the story: CJ's Birthday!

Just Beachy

The weather has been SO amazingly gorgeous here in San Diego this "winter." Last weekend we decided to have a family beach day. We went to a beach that was new to us, one that my friend had told me was really great for kids. Moonlight Beach was super cute, and even had a playground!

CJ had a BLAST!! He insisted he get a turn sitting with "Nem-Mo".

Digging in the sand!

Laughing at his Dada building a sand castle.
Smashing the castle.
Sliding down a dune. "Slide!"
Brrrr....the water is COLD!
Chillin with his Mama and Nemo.
Going around and around and around the umbrella pole.
Running down a dune.
He figured out he could be "lazy" and sit in the beach chair and still dig in the sand. Too funny!
We had a great time, and can't wait to explore more beaches! And with weather like this, we'll sure have plenty of opportunity! :)

Soccer Saturdays

I feel like I keep saying "this is such a fun age", but it keeps getting more and more fun. Every morning when I'm changing CJ out of his overnight diaper and pajamas, he always asks me what we're doing that day by saying: "Animals?" "Musick Class?" "Sock-cer Class" or asking about his friends. SO CUTE!!!! I love the smile he gets when I get to tell him we're going to do something fun. Lights up the room and instantly wakes up this non-morning person Mama.

He loves Saturdays especially because JT goes in to get him when he wakes up. It such a nice surprise for him, and then when his Dada tells him "Soccer Class" he is really a happy boy!! :) I love watching my boys play together!

This was the first week the CJ actually "correctly" participated in the ribbon activity. To see him actually starting to follow instructions "up/down/elephant nose/snake/helicopter" is so neat. (vs. just standing there or running toward another soccer field not paying attention).

So proud.
His favorite ribbon activity is the "go crazy"...
And the kiddos always get to try out new sports. This week was hockey. It was a challenge keeping CJ far enough away from the other children so he wouldn't accidentally hit anyone with his "stick", but he sure enjoyed hitting the balls!
Since it's been staying light later, we've been having "outside" playtime almost every night when JT gets home from work. CJ is getting really good at kicking the soccer ball around our yard. "Kick!" Last night he stopped mid dribble because he saw something, pointed up at the sky and said "MOON!!" What a wonderful age of learning and discovery, SO FUN!

25 weeks

How far along: 25 weeks.

Size of baby: 13.6 inches long, 1 lb, 9 oz. About the size of a rutabaga (cause EVERYONE knows how big that is, right?!)

Gender: Future princess, but not future pageant queen (unless she wants, but no "Toddlers and Tiaras" for us ;)).

Total weight gain: + 13.5 lbs

Maternity clothes: When we venture out, when I'm at home I'm in sweat pants and jammies.

Symptoms: I had some contractions Monday after my ultrasound, but they went away after laying down, drinking some water and taking a bath. HUNGRY!! Insomnia, I was up from 4am-6am one morning for no particular reason-guess my body is getting ready for middle of the night feedings!

Sleep: About 8 hours a night, with about 3 trips to the potty.

Food cravings: No particular cravings this week...eating everything in sight.

Movement: All the time!!! Her kicks and jabs are getting so strong now that I can feel her when I'm up walking around.

Best moment this week: A WONDERFUL ultrasound on Monday!! My uterus is working perfectly and there are no internal signs that would lead them to believe I'm headed toward pre-eclampsia. (and at my dr. appointment Friday, my blood pressure was 115/50) The umbilical cord flow was excellent and baby girl is growing right on track. She already weighs 1lb, 9oz (61%). We have will have one more follow up ultrasound at 34 weeks just to make sure that everything is still going well (and to make sure she is head down because right now she is breech). I had them check the gender for the third time, and she is still a GIRL.

What I miss: Alcohol. I went to my Mom's group wine night this week...just not quite as much fun without the wine. ;)

What I'm looking forward to: JT is taking me on a date Sunday after the Super Bowl! :) We're just going out to dinner, but I'm excited!

Toy Story 3 on Ice

Last Friday, JT took a day off work so we could go to Toy Story 3 on Ice together as a family! I wasn't really sure how CJ would do since that is a LONG TIME for a 2 year old to sit still. He did great, especially in the beginning when he got to see all of his favorite Disney characters: Mickey "D", Minnie "Nin-Nee", Goofy "Fee-Fee", Donald Duck "Kak-Kak", Daisy "Day-She" & Pluto "Tu-To". He was also excited to see "Buzz" "Woo-Wee" & the Hamm the Pig.

I tried to take his picture in front of the souvenir stand, but he was too busy looking at Woody and Buzz behind him to smile!

For my own memories, this was the first time CJ ever ate popcorn. My picky eater has to try things when HE is ready...so he helped his Mama devour a bucket of popcorn. ;) By the end of the performance, CJ was definitely "done" (ready for a nap!). But we had a good time and I'm glad we had the chance to go!