Friday, September 14, 2012

Life with Two

When we found out we were expecting baby #2, I remember parents with more than one kid being very encouraging and saying how it was going to be easy. "Going from 1 to 2 is so much easier than going from none to 1"...

They lied. Well, maybe they didn't? Maybe it is "easy" for other Moms, but NOT FOR ME.

I think having two kids is TWICE as much work. There are now TWO little people relying on me at all times to keep them clean, fed and happy. I don't know how parents of twins do it!! (Kendra, my hat is seriously off to you!)

I find it super hard to meet everyone's needs. I constantly feel like I'm doing a half-butted job. When E is nursing, CJ is having to entertain himself. (He'll say "all done feeding E?!"and it breaks my Mama heart because I know he wants more than I am able to give). And when I'm busy with CJ there are times that E is having to cry. (equally breaks my heart). There are two of them and only one of me and I feel like I'm doing them both a horrible injustice. When CJ was a baby, I'd have all the time in the world to sing to him and play baby games. E gets to do those things when I can find time in between telling CJ not to jump off the couch and not to throw things in the house.

Venturing out in public by myself with the two of them is something I'm just now getting comfortable with. It's so challenging! Especially the store! I still don't take both kids to the store by myself unless I HAVE TO. First of all, to find a time window where they are both happy so we don't have a melt down is hard enough. E's car seat takes up the entire cart, and then CJ rides in the seat where the heck do you put stuff? (I could wear E in the Ergo, but then CJ would probably spend the entire time kicking her as I pushed the cart). It's challenging even trying figure out how to get them both in and out of the cart. (Think about it...leave one in there to potentially roll away or get taken while you are loading/unloading the other one...) STRESSFUL.

And don't even get me started on my inability to get ANYTHING done around the house. Cleaning falls to the bottom of the priority list (since a tornado hits the house several times a day anyhow...) and we're lucky if I can throw a dinner together. Maybe if my son took naps? But always having to be on "high alert" 24/7 without breaks is tough. Toddlers need CONSTANT supervision. It is mind blowing how quickly they are able to get into trouble (or at least mine anyhow).

By the time JT comes home, I'm so relieved that help has arrived, that I toss whichever kid is crying into his arms. Quite the welcome home for him I the usual lack of dinner.

My life is in a continuous state of chaos. Everyone who knows me knows this, and anyone who doesn't can probably figure it out by my disheveled exhausted look. There is never a free moment it seems, and when there finally is, all I want to do is just sit and do nothing or sleep.

Don't get me wrong. I am SO SO SO thankful for my two blessings, but taking care of them is hard work! I know things won't always be this way. I know one day CJ will be potty trained. One day he'll be able to pour his own milk and get his own snacks 52,000 times a day. I know that one day E won't need to eat so frequently. One day she won't blow out a diaper the second I get her strapped into the carseat. I know that one day I'll actually get to eat a warm meal or go to the bathroom in peace. One day I might miss this "season" of young children...well, maybe certain parts. I DEFINITELY know I won't be telling any expectant Moms that it is going to be "easy".

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