Answered Prayers!

Y'all remember back in April when I posted asking for prayers for the last two of my infertile blog friends waiting for their blessings?!

I am SO excited to update that both Lianna & Faith are both pregnant!! Lianna is having a baby girl and Faith is having TWIN girls!

I know that the are still lots and lots of families out there experiencing infertility and heartache waiting for their babies, but it is so amazing to me that every. single. name. on the list of ladies I started praying for back in 2008 has been blessed to become moms.

God is so good!

"Whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive" Matthew 21:22

Don't Ignore NIAW

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. And even though I'm unsure if I can still call myself "infertile" after our surprise pregnancy?, I can still relate so deeply having been there. I've said before, infertility is not something you simply "get over" and move on from...the pain and the journey we had to walk will stay with us forever.

This year's topic is "don't ignore..." So I didn't want to ignore this week. I don't want to ignore the fact that two blog friends from when I first became a part of the infertility blogging community are still waiting for their blessings. I want to ask all of my readers to please join me in praying for Lianna & Faith. I can't begin to understand why some journeys last so much longer than others, but I have to keep believing that God will answer their prayers in His perfect timing.

Prepping for Baby & Nursery Tour

I'm excited that almost everything is ready for Baby Girl! We had our hospital tour a couple weeks ago. All the clothes have been washed, freezer meals in the freezer, pack n play beside my bed, and nursery is done! Just need to finish packing for the hospital this week and we will be as ready as we can be!

I wanted to share pictures of the nursery! I am so pleased with how it turned out. When we first moved in to the house in July this was our office. It was the only room we hadn't hung pictures up...and good thing because then we found out we needed to make it into a nursery! :)

So even though we don't use real names on this blog (other than mine), I felt like I could still share this picture because I'm not going to write Baby Girl's name. :) She will be called "E" on the blog...for obvious reasons I couldn't call her "ET" (hello movie!) or "EH" (less than pleasant sound), so E she will be. I painted all the butterflies, flowers and ladybugs on the letters!

I bought the quilt hanging above the glider in Hawaii before we moved in 2008. We'd started trying to have a baby, and it was the only thing I allowed myself to buy ahead of time because I didn't want to jinx things if we couldn't have a baby. What a sweet reminder of God's promises fulfilled it is for me to see it hanging in her room. :) This was CJ's crib (that he outgrew), so now it belongs to little sis! The pom pom of blue hydrangea flowers hanging from the ceiling was a decoration in one of my best friend's weddings where I was a bridesmaid! We had blue hydrangeas in our backyard growing up, so they also bring those memories. I thought this was the perfect "reuse" for that decor! And the rocker got moved into the nursery too from CJ's room, and CJ now has a beanbag chair.

Baby E's room is directly across the hall from CJ's room and caddy-corner across the hall from us. We had a limited amount of space for a changing table because we couldn't block her closet on the left (the one on the right opens from the other side of the hallway). I found the changing table I wanted on Craigslist for about half the price!!

I got the pink baskets from Michaels, and the drawer pulls are Olive Kids. Her coming home from the hospital outfit (laid out on changing table) has an elephant on it just like her big brother's did! :) But E's pants have a ruffle butt! 

I was inspired by a couple of different bow holders I saw on Pintrest, and I made this bow holder! I painted the different pieces of wood and put it all together. I should have taken a close up, but the bows are hanging on braided brown yarn (because she'll more than likely have brown hair?). The bows are a mix of some that I've made, and some that have been given to our sweet girl.

This is the view from the glider. Blankets, and burp rags on top shelf for easy grabbing, and "baby" toys and board books on the other shelves. CJ loves "sharing" E's toys already! And our little "princess" couldn't NOT have a little Disney in her room...Sleeping Beauty prints.

We have been SO very blessed by the generosity of friends and hand-me-downs with this baby. We were given new clothes for CJ as gifts, but the majority of things we had to purchase. Expensive! So I was concerned about the finances of a surprise baby. We were taken care of! E has been given boxes and boxes of beautiful girl clothes. I have them all sorted by size and ready to go! :)

On top of the toy shelf, the bear music box and angel figurine were mine as a little girl. So neat to have those to pass on to her. And I LOVE the frame that has Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in your mother's womb, I chose you".

The view from the hall, coming from our bedroom. The big window looks out into our front yard, but is shaded/given privacy by a camellia tree (which reminds me so much of SC!) The pink bunny hung in my room as a girl. The crocheted blue hat with pink flower was made by my Mom a long time ago. That word "HOPE" hung in our empty room, would-be-nursery in Michigan as we prayed to be blessed with a child. Now, that will be E's middle name, and I glued it to a frame holding the scripture Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future."

Now all that's missing is a baby girl!!! :) 

The Planner

A couple of things about this pregnancy I wanted to share before I forget (& before it's over!)

One thing I had always said from the time we first got married in 2005 was that I wanted to have both of our kids (we always wanted 2) before JT turned 40. JT turns 40 in October. (yes, there is a bit of an age difference between us!)

When we first moved here last July, being the planner that I am, the first doctor that I found for myself was a new infertility doctor. Even though we weren't planning on "trying" again until the Summer of 2012 (ha ha! we'll already have our baby before then now!), I set up an appointment for us to meet the doctor and get the ball rolling (not knowing what tests they'd want to rerun, etc). Our appointment was going to be on September 27, 2011. I had "jokingly" said a couple of times "Wouldn't it be so funny if I went to the appointment and they said 'you're pregnant'". Well, I guess God thought that was funny too. ;) Needless to say, I didn't need to go to that appointment.

According to my calculations, we got pregnant somewhere around the same time I wrote this post. How crazy is THAT?!

And the last, most ironic thing in my mind was a conversation that JT and I had about a week before we found out we were pregnant. I still remember, we were walking through the Safari Park talking about what if we couldn't have a baby #2...would we be "okay" with CJ being an only child, or would we think about pursuing adoption. We were ALREADY pregnant!!

On September 12, 2011 I took a pregnancy test. I'm still not even sure what prompted me to do it. I hadn't had any symptoms, and I had a period pretty recently ago (for me). It was the day before "trash day" and I typically liked to pee on sticks right before the trash would go out. A couple of reasons for that...1) so I didn't have to look at the "no" staring me in the face from the trash can every time I stepped out of the shower/went to the potty. 2) so JT wouldn't see the thousands of dollars worth of pregnancy tests that I continuously "wasted". GOODNESS was I EVER shocked to see a faint line that evening!!

God, yet again, in His infinite wisdom and perfect timing had given us the most beautiful gift. Another baby. There are SO many things that infertility, and being a mother has taught me...but I think that the biggest lesson of all for me is that not everything can be planned by us but God always has a perfect plan! "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Worth the Wait

Since this pregnancy has been pretty rough on me, I've said a number of times that "I'm ready for her to come". I do feel guilty saying that, after going through everything we had to to have CJ, and knowing there are still so many ladies who would love to be in my shoes. I find it to be such a fine line to try and walk...between being considerate of my friends with infertility, but still being real about pregnancy and motherhood. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but not every moment of pregnancy and being a mom is always perfect and wonderful.

Anyhow, I saw something this week that kind of snapped me back to reality, and made me want to stay pregnant just a little while longer.

WOW! Talk about a difference. There were several other risk factors and important reasons listed, but probably since I'm a visual person, the comparison of the brains is what struck me the most.

I'm going to try to enjoy my last few weeks of being pregnant, since I'll never again feel a baby hiccuping or wiggling around in my belly. I'll tough it out, as long as she wants (within reason!) for HER. Because, just like her big brother, she is most definitely worth the wait!

CJ's Birth Story Part 2

This is a continuation of CJ's Birth Story Part 1 from yesterday. (Same thing I said applies, if you don't want to read about child birth...stop reading!)

We both got up the morning that was to be CJ's birth day, January 10, 2010 at around 9:30am. The Cervidil was removed and I was about the same: 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I took a shower, and was allowed to eat a big breakfast: oatmeal, eggs, blueberry muffin, fruit and apple juice. Thankfully I was allowed to have apple juice and orange juice throughout the entire labor process, which was nicer than the "ice chips" that you always hear about.

I knew going into it that induction was already NOT on the birth plan, but I was bound and determined to still try to do things as naturally as possible. I told the nurses NOT to ask me if I wanted an epidural, and that I would let them know. The Pitocin was started at 12 noon. It was started at a low dose and gradually increased every 30 minutes. We watched a few movies (flipping around the TV): Eight Below, Ratatouille, and We Were Soldiers.

At around 3pm I started feeling the contractions, and having pain. We did laps around the labor floor (it is a circular layout) and used the birthing ball. JT was a SUPER support person and massaged my back, and helped me any way he could. The labor started getting REALLY painful, especially in my back. The nurses thought that the back of baby's head was pushing against my back during the contractions making so painful (back labor).

Around 4:30pm the contractions started getting REALLY intense. I remember sitting on the birthing ball in the dark, with JT putting pressure on my back, listening to my "Labor" playlist on the iHome and I just couldn't take it.

At 6:30pm I requested the epidural. At first I felt like a "failure" because I couldn't handle the pain, and almost everything on our birth plan wasn't going according to plan...But at 7pm when the epidural arrived and I wasn't in as much pain, I felt VERY relieved. They checked me before placing the epidural and I was at 6cm.

I was able to rest and possibly even nap? (can't remember) for a little bit. I think the epidural helped my body to "relax" tremendously because when they checked me again at 8:50pm I was fully dilated and at +2 station. This is where things really started going downhill...

We were just about to send another update email to our families that "everything was good and we were going to start pushing soon" when CJ's heart rate started dropping. They had me lay on my left side to try to help him. His heart rate still wasn't what they wanted to see. SO scary. They placed a sensor on his head to get a more accurate heart rate.

Thankfully things calmed down a bit. After laying on my left and monitoring him internally they were happy with his heart rate and probably around 10:30pm said we could start pushing. By now, some of the numbness of the epidural had worn off so I was able to "help" with the pushing because I could feel the "urge" and when I was having a contraction. The nurse had me do a few "practice pushes", but I think I did pretty well because she told me not to push any more and that we needed to wait for the doctor.

**This is where things get hazy, and surreal (JT stopped taking his notes about the labor and things got crazy) so I retell it to the best of our recollections. **

When the doctor arrived (a VERY cute male Resident, not pertinent to the story, but a memory nonetheless) we started pushing again. A few good rounds and we were getting close. I guess CJ was getting stuck because they told me they needed to do an episiotomy. (Thank God for my epidural #1) So they did that, and I did another round of pushing. But then CJ's heart rate dropped again. They told me that I needed to get him out on this next push or else they were going to have to use the vacuum. So I pushed as hard as I possibly could, and CJ was born at 11:17pm. He was placed on my chest immediately (one thing that actually DID happen from my birth plan) and he was so beautiful.

I could tell there was something going on "down there", especially when the Attending Dr. was called in, but I was too busy admiring my new son to pay too much attention. When they took him to the bassinet on the other side of the room to clean him up, weigh him, etc. rather than letting him stay with me for the hour I had wanted/trying to nurse, I knew something was up. CJ weighed 9lb, 5oz and was 22.5 inches long. (Thank God for my epidural #2).

They said that when CJ was came out, I tore A LOT on top of the episiotomy. (Thank God for my epidural #3). They needed to get the bleeding to stop, and couldn't get me sewn back up in the delivery room because they were having a hard time seeing how far "up" (inside) the tear went. I needed to be taken to the Operating Room.

Scariest moment of my life. Probably JT's too? but I can't speak for him. Here, my dreams of becoming a Mama FINALLY just came true, and instead of being able to enjoy it, and enjoy this beautiful blessing, I am thinking I am going to die. While they were getting me situated to be wheeled away, I made JT take a few pictures of CJ. I asked him to take one of CJ with me "just in case" but he just couldn't do it. I imagine he didn't want to make the moment any more real? The look of fear on his face is one I'll never forget. I remember them taking me away...JT standing there in shock holding his newborn son and wondering about about the fate of his wife...

They took me to the OR, and I can't say enough good things about my doctors that night/early morning, that I credit with saving my life. The attending OB from my delivery room was came with me and was absolutely wonderful. She explained that she couldn't tell how far up I ripped (because of all the bleeding), but if I ripped too high they were going to need to cut me open similarly to a C-section to repair it from inside. I remember asking her "Am I going to die?" and her confidence and comforting manner as she said "No" was amazing. She was joined by another surgeon in the OR, and the two of them worked together surveying my "situation" and sewing me back up. They were longtime friends so to see how comfortable they were to work together also put me at ease. I had an anesthesiologist who sat right next to me and talked to me the whole time. She had the most LOVELY British accent, and again, made my experience more "pleasant" by her kindness. Thank God for my epidural #4 because otherwise they would have had to put me completely under. Here I was all by myself in the hospital OR, bleeding and each of those women made me feel "calm".

I ended up with a third degree cervical tear. I, thankfully, did not need a blood transfusion, but it was really close. When I returned to my room around 3am, CJ was sleeping in his bassinet and JT has never looked so relieved. I was disappointed because JT told me that CJ was "rooting" (looking to nurse) shortly after I left, and I hated that I missed that chance and those first few hours of his life! :(

Around 3-3:30am JT was FINALLY able call our friends and family and fill them in. (He wanted to wait until he could tell them Lacy & baby are both doing well, rather than waking them up in the middle of the night and worrying people that live far away while I was in the OR). I was FINALLY able to eat something while he was doing that. They wanted me to eat as much as I could since I lost so much blood.

By the time we both fell asleep from exhaustion it was probably around 4:30 or 5am. I remember my "alarm" kept going off because my pulse would dip so low and a nurse would have to keep coming in to check on me and to shut it off. I was LIVID when at 6am a nurse WOKE ME UP to ask me what kind of birth control I wanted. I was like are you KIDDING ME?! I had to do infertility treatment to even have CJ, and THAT is the LAST thing on my mind right now after last night. Grrr.

Anyhow. Thanks for reading (those of you that made it through!). It was cathartic for me to write. Now just praying that we have a different experience with the birth of Baby Girl! I doubt I'll have much of a birth "plan" this go around...or at least realize that probably nothing will go according to "plan"...but I do PLAN on getting an epidural! ;)

CJ's Birth Story Part 1

This is going to be a long post (and there may be some TMI moments-hello it is child birth!), so bear with me (or hit the x at the top of your screen). But this is something I feel like I have to write down to help me deal with my CJ's birth story before heading back in to Labor & Delivery with Baby Girl. I've shared bits and pieces with various friends, and have even gotten comfortable rattling off the "facts" with people (just like infertility) but have rarely, if ever, really talked about the emotional aspect of what I went through that night.

I woke up this morning with another headache. One of my theories behind my headaches this pregnancy (other than them being hormonally related?) is that I was so sick in the first trimester that I stopped wearing my night guard mouthpiece. (Sexy, but when you're married to a dentist, maybe it is? HA HA!) Anyhow, I grind my teeth in my sleep when I'm stressed (hence the night guard because I once ground so hard I broke a filling in my sleep). In addition to my headache, this morning I also woke up with a scripture running through my mind:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

I thought that was a sign, so after reading my Bible and saying a prayer, I got my computer out and started writing.

I've always struggled with worry my whole life. When I was even a little girl I would tell my mom I had my "worried feeling". It would come around sometimes for no reason, and other times when there was something "worth worrying about". I think it is Satan trying to get to me.

When I was going through infertility, one of my best friends gave me a little plaque with that scripture on it, and it was so fitting! I sat it on my desk at work and would recite it over and over. Presenting our infertility "with thanksgiving" was difficult then, but in hindsight I am so completely thankful that CJ was the baby God chose for us in His perfect timing.

And now, as I start to think about delivering Baby Girl, and all my worries surrounding that...hoping it won't be the same as last time. I present my anxiety to God with the thanksgiving that we were given this opportunity to go to Labor & Delivery again, that we were given this miracle baby girl.

At my ultrasound last week when they told me baby was 61%, my first thought was SO thankful that she is growing so well despite all the "risks" we were up against with my low PAPP-A. My next thought was fear. Oh gosh, she is going to be BIG just like her big brother. (CJ was 9lb, 5oz). My mind started racing and worrying, thinking we could be headed down the same path in the delivery room. When I met with my OB, he was very reassuring that if she stayed on that same bell curve for growth, she will be a "normal" sized baby, and went onto tell me that CJ was more like 95%. Phew... Praying for her to keep growing well, but just not quite as well as her brother! ;)

CJ was due on Saturday, January 2, 2010. Since we had to do infertility treatments with him and I know the exact day he was conceived, this was an accurate due date. His personality that we see today of doing what he wants WHEN HE wants, was true from the very beginning because he did NOT want to come out! I can't say I blame him...I've never been a fan of cold or snow, so I'm sure staying nestled up in my warm belly was much more appealing than being born into a Michigan winter. ;)

On Thursday, January 7, 2010 at my weekly Dr's appointment I was 75% effaced, and 1cm dilated. I had already lost my mucus plug at that point (gross!). The Dr. said my cervix was "softening up nicely" so I would be a good candidate for induction if baby boy didn't come on his own. She scheduled me for induction for Saturday, January 9, 2010 (41 weeks pregnant). (Of course depending on how busy L&D was). We were able to start booking plane tickets for my mom, my sister & my best friends to fly up from the Carolinas since we finally had a "date."

JT and I went out to dinner that Friday night at our favorite Ann Arbor restaurant, Pacific Rim, knowing it would be our last chance to go out on a date for a while. On Saturday, we did every last minute preparation we could think of, called all our family and friends and anxiously awaited the call from the nurses at the hospital that it was "okay to come in." When we got the "go ahead" we headed to the hospital around 7pm. We checked into University of Michigan Hospital Triage at approximately 7:15pm on January 9, 2010. We had taken Lamaze class, and had written a very detailed "birth plan" of how we wanted things. I requested and felt lucky that I there was a room with a tub available for us (most rooms have a shower only). It was kind of weird checking in, so surreal, so similar to checking into a hotel...all of our bags, no emergency, but knowing when we left it would be with our baby boy.

Cervidil was placed vaginally around 9:30pm. (It's basically like a tampon soaked in medicine). We walked around a the labor floor a little bit, but mostly chilled in the room. Jay fell asleep around 12:30am on his chair that folded out to a bed. I couldn't sleep! I was too excited/scared/anxious, so around 2:30am the nurse asked me if I'd like an Ambien to help me sleep and I said "yes!"

Check back tomorrow for the rest of the story: CJ's Birthday!

Hi, My name is Lacy, & I have Infertility

See, I am capable of posting about things other than CJ! ;) It just seems that those are the more "fun" posts" because the other stuff I have to talk about are just more serious:

Like, how I have infertility and I've only had two periods since Colin was born, so I'm pretty sure if we ever want another baby I'll have to do infertility treatments again?!

I'd rather post about CJ, and how thankful I am to have him... Ha ha!! I am the person that will tell a joke to break the serious tone, so I'd just rather write about happy things than be a Debby Downer (because, hello?!, who wants to read that blog?!)

Seriously though, I do have a story that I've been wanting to share:

I was talking to a friend who I hadn't seen since before I had CJ. She has two kids, and we were watching the three kiddos play together when she asked "the question". The question that I never quite know how to answer and say different things depending on who it is I'm talking to. "When are y'all going to have another?" Being that she is a friend, I felt comfortable enough to tell her that "we had trouble getting pregnant with CJ". She said "oh, I'm sorry, how long did it take you?" To which, I replied "two years, and we had to do infertility treatments to have him". I guess not knowing what else to say? she said "we had trouble too with #2, I didn't get pregnant the first month and I was so upset, but we got pregnant the second month. You just gotta relax!" Ask any infertile and they will tell you that the #1 thing that they could go the rest of their life without hearing (other than "you're not pg") is "relax". I did not really know how to respond because I didn't want to make her feel bad since I knew she was coming from a place of genuine well meaning, so I just breezed over it and moved on...

But what I really wanted to say to her is: Infertility is a Medical Condition!!! Relaxing isn't going to magically make my body start producing more fsh (follicle-stimulating hormone), although I sure wish it would.

People don't ever know what to say when it comes to infertility. Some people with infertility want to talk about it openly, and others just aren't emotionally able to. And the friends and family don't know what to say either since the whole subject is so "taboo" in our society. If someone you know has diabetes, and they are giving themselves shots of insulin, people are just more likely to talk to them about their disease than if you have infertility and you are giving yourself shots of hormones. Both, however, are medical conditions!

The Resolve website has a great "Infertility Etiquette" guideline for family and friends of people dealing with infertility. I would recommend everyone checking it out if you have time, because it does a better job of giving "dos & don'ts" than I ever could. Note that the first thing on their list is "Don't Tell them to Relax"! Ha ha!!

Whew, Don't worry, I've had enough serious talk for the week too...more fun posts about the cutest toddler ever coming up!

Late Mother's Day Recap

My Mother's Day post is late for a couple of reasons.

1) It has been crazy busy around here with guests and activities and move preparations (see previous post)

2) After going through infertility, it is hard to adequately sum up all the emotions and thoughts that accompany this holiday for me.

First of all, I am SOOO incredibly thankful to be a Mom to the sweetest little boy, CJ. I can't imagine my life without him in it, and am so thankful that God allowed me to be his Momma!!

My heart still aches for all my blog friends that are still waiting for their blessings!! The pain of wanting a baby is still fresh to me, and I remember how "Mother's Day" was a hurtful reminder of what I couldn't/didn't yet have. I pray every night for God to reveal His plan for the families of everyone still waiting!!

JT's Mom was here on Mother's Day this year, so CJ & JT surprised the Mommas in their lives with pedicures and a dinner out!

We had a really great time getting pampered together! I got blue toes, and "Nana" got red toes. :)

After the relaxing pedi's, we went out to dinner downtown at The Melting Pot!! What a yummy treat that was!!

I think you can tell that I enjoyed it! :)

NIAW-"When are you going to have another?"

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. This subject is and will always be near and dear to my heart. Going through infertility has completely changed the person I am. This year's NIAW theme is "Bust a Myth". The Myth I wanted to bust was "You've had a baby, you're no longer infertile!" WRONG. I'm sure it may seem that way to a lot of people. But, just because I've had a baby, doesn't mean I've forgotten the physical and emotional pain that we had to go through to get here!

CJ is almost 16 months...so one of the main topics that seems to come up among the moms at playgroups lately is "When are you going to have another?" I'd say about a quarter of the moms with kids around CJ's age are already pregnant with their second. I thankfully haven't gotten that itch quite yet, and the timing really wouldn't be right for our family right now anyhow (driving cross-country in the summer, pregnant?! Umm, no thanks!). When I get asked about having another, I usually reply that "we had trouble getting pregnant with CJ" but then quickly try to deflect the question back to them "How about you?!". If I am being honest, I just don't enjoy "going there" in my thoughts and emotions...thinking about having to endure that path again for another baby...those battle wounds still seem way too fresh in my mind. And just like I knew we were going to have trouble getting pregnant the first time, I have a feeling it will be a struggle again. Probably TMI, but I haven't had a period since March 2009 (the one that the fertility protocol forced my body to have prior to my fertility meds that successfully resulted in CJ).

I was at a baby class last week and a few moms were discussing weaning our babies from breastfeeding. I chose to breastfed CJ for a little over one year, and then the time was right for our family to wean. When I mentioned this to an other mom, she remarked that it must have been easy for me to choose to stop breastfeeding since I could "have another baby and have another chance to breastfeed." I mumbled something like "not necessarily, but I hope so..." and walked away. Even the smallest things sometimes can bring that infertility pain back up to the surface.

I am able to talk about our infertility a lot more openly now than I was when we were going through it. I think because I am able to take a step back and look at it from the outside, seperate myself from the emotional aspect. I can easily rattle off terms and different procedures, and talk to people matter-of-factly about what we went through to have CJ. (Hystosonogram, countless ultrasounds and blood draws, 3 cycles on Clomid, 1 cycle on Femara, and 2 cycles of Gonadotropin injections with Gonal-F). But when I start thinking about doing it all over again...I just can't right now. And since we're moving, I worry that we'll be at a new clinic, new Dr...there are no guarantees that just because you had one baby that you can have two babies!!

Don't get me wrong, I would go through it all again in a heartbeat for my little CJ! He was definitely worth the wait. But that pain and hurt, those feelings, don't all just magically disappear when you have your baby. I continue to pray daily for my everyone who is going through infertility and all my blog friends still waiting to be blessed with their babies.