Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Terrible Twos

Today I had a great time at my MOPS meeting. We talked about family Christmas traditions, and most importantly ways to keep CHRISTmas focused on what is really important. I am so thankful that I've found such a great group of women to get to know in our new city, and for the blessing of these friendships. I was having such a great morning until...

...I went to pick CJ up from the child care. The nursery workers told me that CJ was good for about 80% of the time, and then toward the end he started hitting, punching and pushing the other kids (and grabbing their toys). My heart is very heavy regarding this. I know a lot of this behavior is typical for his age, where he still isn't able to fully communicate his thoughts/feelings. But I just feel at a loss. Obviously things are pretty "CJ-centric" at our house since he is an only child with a stay at home mom. I tell him "no" and don't let him always get what he wants or give in to him when he whines or cries. I really try my hardest to expose him to other kids at playgroups, playgrounds, etc... Example: We went to the Safari Park playground on Tuesday. He pushed a kid and the kid started crying. I immediately made him apologize and put him in a time out (and I also apologized to the mom)...but it just doesn't seem to sink in. I asked the nursery workers today if they disciplined him for his bad behavior, and they said they made him apologize and put him in time out. So I really just don't know what else to do. I feel like it is a never ending cycle: I want to expose him to other kids so he knows how to interact, but I feel like I want to retreat and keep him home when his interactions are so unkind and highly embarrassing for me.

I've debated whether or not to share this on my blog, because without y'all REALLY "knowing" CJ (either not at all in real life or only seeing him once or twice a year), I would hate to paint a skewed picture or have anyone think ill of him. He is really the sweetest boy, who loves giving hugs and kisses, and he has the funniest personality. Always smiling, laughing and jabbering. But I just feel like such a failure in the interaction with other kids department. (I'm crying typing this blog...but a lot of that probably has to do with my pregnancy hormones!) Perhaps we've failed him by me staying home? I know he'd be great at interacting if he just had more exposure. If we can afford it in the new year, we are going to enroll CJ in a one day a week "Moms Morning Out". Hopefully that will help some? Not my most uplifting blog, but please pray for us because this is something that is weighing heavily on my mind right now.

5 comments:

Alexis said...

Lacy, I really don't have the time to comment like I'd like to, so I hope this comes out like I mean it. First, you couldn't possibly be failing CJ by staying home! No one in the world could take better care of him than you! God gave him to you, and it's a woman's HIGHEST calling to be the caregiver to her family and home. It is the BEST thing that you can do for him. None of this is your fault!!! NONE! The Bible instructs us that women are to be keepers at home, and while I believe there are situations that require the mother to work out of the home (My own mom had to.), I firmly believe that God will honor the keeping of His Word! I've got to run and get ready for church, so I hope this sounds like it's burning in my heart. This is what God meant for you to do! Satan means for you to be discouraged and take your eyes off the blessing, and he wants you to believe that you are failing at it, but no one knows your son like you do, and no one can keep him like you do. You are a GREAT mommy, and you're doing a GREAT job!!

We could all use some prayer in the mommy department. I'll try to remember to pray for you the next time I'm frazzled with mine. :)

Ashley said...

Lacy,
You are an AWESOME mom! You have not failed him at all by staying at home. Plus, y'all are out and about all the time! Do not worry, his behavior is completely normal (I had tons of that, even with 3 year olds in my preschool class!) Honestly, I think the fact that he's doing it is a good thing. It will give you the chance to show him that it's not okay to act like that. If he never got the chance, then you'd never have those learning opportunities. And even though he may ignore it again and and again, eventually it will sink in. And do not worry, our pictures of him aren't skewed at all! I don't know CJ at all except through your blog and Rach, but I can only imagine what a sweet, precious boy he is! : )

Sue said...

Lacy, crazy girl, CT is acting out in typical 2 year old manner...I think staying at home has NOTHING to do with his behavior....But exposing him to other children and they SHARING is important, but that can be anywhere. Expose him to more SHARING activities not only with other kids, but you and JT as well. If he gets angry and starts acting out, immidiately put him in time out and make the time longer than the norm. If he moves immediately but firmly place him back in time out. Just like the "pumpkin patch" he will begin to remember the results of his bad actions. Try placing a favorite toy in sight, but out of reach. Let him know he cannot play with it until he acts better may work, but not sure at that age. YOU are a FANTASTIC MOM....staying at home has NOTHING to do with his behavior. Not to make excuses, but after 80 percent of the time being good, he may have started missing you, was getting real tired, or other reasons you may not be aware of because at that age he cannot communicate that well. Heck I adore and love CT....He is not going to be perfect all the time,(look at his Nana) but think 90 percent of the time he is...gee, not of us can be that perfect???? Love you and YES, I think your hormones are working overtime. LOL

coach said...

CJ is such a lucky kid to have a stay at home Mom. He will acquire his social skills slowly, but he will, because you and JT are there to guide him on a daily basis. JT and his sister were in day care at a very young age. We could not have survived if I was the only one who worked outside the home. JT and his sister turned out great, but there were times I felt real guilty leaving them in day care all day. I had a stay at home Mom, who you are so much alike in the way you love and spend time with CJ. He will remember these early years later in his life and cherish the memories. He is a great kid and will learn and develop under his parents loving care. You continue to be strong, love you all.............

Kendra said...

Hi sweet friend... my heart just broke reading this.

First of all, although I've never met CJ, I KNOW he has a tender spirit! I totally get what you are saying about fearing him being labeled and that is so sensitive of you.

Second of all, I'm a new mom just like you (our babies are only like 2 months apart!) so I don't at all mean to sound here like I know anything =). But, I have twins, and so they've grown up having to share. It's all they've ever known. Yet they still are reaching a new stage recently where they are acting aggressive towards each other and sometimes being down right mean! It's heartbreaking to see. But, I try and tell myself it's normal. We are all born into sin.

Have you ever read "Shepherding a Child's Heart"? Dave and I are reading it now. It's helping me release a lot of my burden in parenting...that statement sounds weird but I don't know how else to say it. Anyways, it's a good book on Biblical parenting.

You are a FANTASTIC mother, and CJ is lucky to have you around so much!!!