Our Unexpected Blessing (YES!! What you think!)

I've been keeping a secret...we're expecting baby #2. I'm 14 weeks, 3 days and due May 19, 2012.

We weren't trying, but we feel so incredibly thankful for this unexpected blessing.

I've been attempting to write this post for a few weeks, but no words can adequately summarize my thoughts and feelings!! I am feeling excited, scared, and a little guilty. This is all still SO unbelievable to me, after everything that we had to go through to get pregnant with CJ! And I'm sure people will laugh at me or call me "dramatic" when I say that I feel like this pregnancy is a complete miracle. A gift from God. (I mean every pregnancy is when you really think about all the stars that have to align "just so"), but in my case...it just brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. So thankful.

Of course we are SO excited. Being a mom to CJ over the last 22 months has been wonderful. Being his Mama has been the most important thing I've ever done in my life, and I can't imagine how amazing it will be to have another child! I think that SHOCKED is the best word to describe how JT and I have been feeling. I still. can't. believe. it. I'm a little scared about the changes that will be coming for our family. Worried about being equal between two kids, showing them both adequate attention and love. I'm sure most of those feelings are normal.

But, I feel kinda guilty too. Like, I don't deserve another baby! How did this even happen!? (Okay smarty-pants people, I know how it happened, ha ha!) But I mean, since CJ's birth in January 2010, I had a period in March 2011 & one in July 2011 and then "somehow" got pregnant sometime in August 2011. Without trying!! My body "randomly" produced an egg and we "just happened" to get pregnant. I have to give all the credit to God, because I know it was all His orchestration and not random at all to Him. But, why me? There are still so many of my friends waiting for their own blessings. I'm not worthy to get TWO. I'm not taking this beautiful blessing for granted, as I continue to pray for those who are still waiting their turns.

I've had several people ask me "Why haven't you announced it yet?" (on blog, on facebook). And the sad truth is because I just kept waiting for the "other shoe to drop". To quote a blog friend, Jill, "It's the infertile in me." This pregnancy was just too easy to be real. Too good to be true.

But we are SO thankful for this miracle baby.

More details to come...

Psalm 113:9

"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!"